Looking back now it's all seeming a bit like a blur, but last Saturday was definitely one of the most eventful days of my life. Out of it there came good, bad, happy, sad, and just a whole lot of CRAZY!
I'll start with the morning. Ash, Maddie, Ben, Trav and I were all prepping for the shower - getting the chicken salad ready when we looked at the clock and noticed we had about 30 minutes before guests would start showing up. So upstairs I went, and noticed I had been bleeding...what?!!! I instantly called for Ben and Ash and the show began. I was balling, freaking out, Ben was calling my the hospital, I was trying to get ahold of the doctor but she wasn't available, and I had no idea what was happening to my body, but even more frightening, TO MY BABIES!!! Ben finally grabbed my hand and said we're leaving for the hospital, so off we went. Bye bye shower and all my friends/family that were going to be there in ten minutes. I even saw some friends like Tanya and my sisters for a brief second- I just looked at them crying and said I'm sorry. That's all I could do.
To this day, we really have no idea what caused the bleeding, but after some Googling I have concluded that it was probably my mucus plug (sorry if that's TMI). We never really did receive an answer from the doc about what caused that, and that should have been a sign that we were in for a LONG stay with little answers. The first day they thought I was going into pre-term labor because after my first cervical check by one of the nurses that HURT, and I mean bad, I started having contractions for the first time. They injected me with shots to calm them down and put me on a 24 hour urine watch to see what was happening. I just thanked the Lord that I had Ben there right in front of me to hold me and comfort me when I had no idea what was happening to my body- especially when my heart rate raced to 130 after the Tributine injections! Nast! However, there was one really good thing happening that allowed me to keep my chin up. Baby A and Baby B were having steady heartbeats, seemed healthy, and as far as I knew they were active - especially after those contractions!
The next day they drew labs and told me I had pre-eclampsia, although I was missing two of the most normal signs (high blood pressure and an excessive amount of protein in my urine). I kept hearing the same thing over and over again - 'you're a mystery'. Day 3 we went in for an ultrasound and to talk to the Paranatologist - an OBGYN who specializes in high risk pregnancies. She was A BREATH OF FRESH AIR! I loved her. I loved everything she had to say to Ben and I. She told Ben and I that our babies were healthy. She told us that whether they were born that day at 33 weeks or next week at 34, or went all the way to after full term that our babies would develop just fine. What an angel she was to give us the answers we had been waiting on for 3 days! We were told that Baby A is in the 16.5 percentile for development - these scales are based on percentiles as if we were having one baby, so we knew that our twins would measure a little beneath. However, Baby B is in the lower 10 percentile, which is not ideal. Her organs have been developing but her weight is not up to what the doc wishes it would be, or what any of us wish it would be. She went on to explain that there is probably something malfunctioning with the placenta where either the chord isn't feeding directly into the center like it should/ it is brushing the side, OR the chord giving her the nutrience she needs could be the size of a tiny spaghetti noodle. The babies were to large to see the placentas in the ultrasound so there is no sure answer. At this point, we are expecting our little ladies to come in anywhere from 5 days to a week and a half! Crazy!
There are something little details I'd like to noted though about my stay there that I want to record because I don't ever want to forget about them. This is more for looking back one day then for filling you all in on them, since perhaps some of you might not care too much about the other details so feel free to stop reading if I have gabbed on long enough for you already. :)
But first, I hope I never forget the blessing Ben and Travis gave me the first night I stayed in the hospital. Trav (my brother in law) was a stud for coming in on short notice to bless me and make me feel at peace with the situation, and plus I heard he did a good job greeting people at the door during the shower- way to hold down the fort brotha! But then there's Ben, the man who stayed with me every night and took off work for days to be with me and calm my fears. He placed his hands upon my head and gave me and our babies a blessing so tender I'll never be able to forget the feeling. He told me that I would have the discernment to understand what I need and communicate that with the doctors as they were treating us. I feel that his blessing and the words from the Lord really did play a huge part in finding out what was happening and making sure we made it safely. So thank you baby. I love you so much, for always.
Second, I hope I never forget how Ben would scoot his bed into mine at night so we could still be sleeping together...sort of. Or how we shared our meals and cleaned out their snack closet together. Or how Ben would bring me presents every night from the shower so that I could still enjoy the party! Literally, I felt so showered with love from Ben and all the people who came to the shower (yes, they FaceTimed me in and I spoke with no audio to all my guests in attendance- that was actually pretty funny). Also, a big shout out to everyone in my family who kept up on me and called me on the daily to make sure I was ok, and to all the people from our church who made an effort to bring me books and food and my favorite- HUGS! Yes, you all are awesome amazing people and I really don't know how I got so lucky, but I'm not complaining. :)
I could go on forever, but really, I'm just glad to be home with my babies still in the belly, toasting away in this oven and to cuddle at night with my husband in our bed together again. I'm grateful for Hulu Plus on the couch, for M&M's and the stash of oreos I missed. I'm grateful for our health, or happiness, and for days that seem kind of sucky but in the end make you realize your life is about as blessed as you could have ever dreamed it would be.
I love you all - thank you for lovin' me right back. MWA! And thank you Ben. Happy 8 months to us today! So glad we picked each other babe.
Xoxo,
Britnana
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